Numb to Hope

I have tried and failed
My strength is but a silent whisper.
My mouth is muzzled.
Pessimism veils my prayer.
Again and again am slaved to wishes.
I wish God could help...
I whisper a prayer devoid of the hopelessness.
Like a drowning man I struggle for air.
I look but i do not see..!
You seem invincible.
Lord you are so near yet so far.
Your warmness is but a mirage
I beg to feel your presence.
A vacuum is all that is inside me.
An empty vessel walled with hopelessness.
Though i trade my sin for forgiveness;
The gap seem too big.
I feel wasted beyond repair.
Mine is a cry of a destroyed city.
Its the silent scream of pilled debris.
My Lord, darkness swallow my obedient spirit into misty air.
Though i lay down in darkness;
Let me wake-up to your shining face!!